Find out when it's time to finally let go or decide to go ahead and
fight for your ex with helpful advice from the matchmakers at BirminghamSingles!
When you are experiencing a hard breakup and you are not sure if it's
right, or even if you do know it's right, you will also experience some
feelings of confusion. You will cry over
the loss of your ex partner, as well as from being lonely, even if you do know
he wasn't the right partner for you. It
happens, even if it's the right decision.
When you put in time to be in a relationship with someone, regardless of
the outcome, they were a major part of your life, so it will not be easy to
completely erase them from your thoughts.
However, if you believe the breakup never should have happened in the
first place, should you try to get him back?
The matchmakers from Birmingham Singles Dating Service are here
to help you determine if you should try to get him back, if it's worth it, and
when it's time to finally let him go.
When Is It Finally Time To Let Him Go?
1. When You Believe You Will Not Do Better
Whether your choice to get back together is because you feel lonely,
you are afraid you will never meet someone better, or because you feel like a
desperate victim, it's more likely time to let that relationship go, explains Birmingham
Singles. Getting back together with
a partner solely because of the fear of the consequence "If I don't get
back with him, something is going to happen," is a major indication
that you are not in the right state of mind and your confidence is wearing
thin.
If you are only missing the feeling of sleeping next to someone or hate
the fact that you don't have a date for your sister's wedding (you get upset
when seeing couples walk around) these aren't the reasons to try to get back
with an ex, explains Birmingham Singles.
The fear of spending the rest of your life alone can motivate people to
settle for someone who isn't a good match for them. But the matchmakers at Birmingham
Singles don't want you to be like one of those women. Make sure you love and respect yourself first,
accept the fact that you're alone now, and then re-evaluate what you plan on
achieving in your next relationship. And
remember, the most important thing is to always put yourself first.
2. You Have Different Values
Perhaps you and him broke up because you wanted to start a family and
he did not, or maybe he wanted to tie the knot and you wanted things to stay
the way they were--Whatever the reason, if your values, relationship goals, or
ideas about the future are different, it's most likely that he will not be the
right partner for you, explains Birmingham Singles. Things such as having children, what religion
they will be a part of, and commitment levels are major aspects of a
relationship that need to be agreed upon by both partners. If the two of you cannot see eye to eye on
such issues, then it's time to move on.
3. He Repeated Things That Are Non-Negotiable
If your ex continued to do something, such as disrespect you, cheat on
you, or engage in physical and/or verbal abuse, then getting back with him
should be out of the picture entirely, states Birmingham Singles. They say that the most dangerous
relationships are very addictive; don't fall onto that wagon. Stick to the things that you will not deal
with. If your partner is engaged in behavior
that doesn't match to your values, then it's time to move on and put him in the
past.
When It's Time For You To Fight For Your
Relationship
1. When The Time Wasn't Right
They say that timing is everything.
So maybe your boyfriend had just gotten a big promotion at his job and
you broke up with him because he was working two shifts and you could not spend
time together anymore. Or maybe you were
advancing your schooling and found that you weren't paying too much attention
to the relationship; therefore, you had to break things off. But maybe now things have changed and the two
of you feel that now is the perfect time to focus on each other again, not just
on yourselves. If that is the case, then
fight for your relationship, suggests Birmingham Singles.
2. When His Actions Match His Words
If your ex has been reaching out to you to talk to you about getting
back together, have him show you that he's serious about it. If his words and actions match, he calls when
he says he will and he shows up at the right time, and has even gone to the
point of making positive changes in himself, that means you can give him a
chance and fight for the relationship.
If you feel confident that this time things will be much better, then
give it a go, suggests Birmingham Singles.
3. You Thought About Your Decision (By Yourself Or With Professional
Help) & You Feel Getting Back Together Could Be A Good Thing
People break up for many reasons, sometimes small ones (like he forgot
about your birthday or anniversary) and sometimes, major reasons (he cheated
with your best friend), but whatever the case, if you can't stop thinking about
your ex, then maybe getting back together could be the right thing. Consider talking to a professional or a
therapist that could help guide you on making the appropriate decision for your
situation.
The matchmakers of Birmingham Singles Dating Service explain
that some people break up for the right reasons, while others break up for the
wrong ones. If you have checked the list
above and feel it's the right thing to get back with him, then give it a
go.
If you decide that it's not right to fight to get him back and you're
ready to move on with you life, then put him behind you. There is no need to jump back into a relationship
that was already doomed from the start.
It's best to heal yourself and get a fresh start. If you're single in the Birmingham area and
looking for a serious and committed relationship, contact a matchmaker at Birmingham
Singles Dating Service to set up a consultation today.
